Working out your doubts
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” John 20: 25
Thomas doubted the words of his friends who said they had seen the risen Lord. He wanted to see the risen Lord for himself, examine the evidence and then believe.
But we usually contrast his refusal to believe with the faith of the other disciples. This is unfair.
Mark records that when Mary Magdalene saw Jesus, the disciples who were mourning and weeping did not believe her (Mark 16:10-11). Later, when the disciples on the road to Emmaus reported their encounter with the risen Lord, "they did not believe them" (Mark 16:12-13). Matthew records that even after several appearances just before the ascension, many doubted: "When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted" (Matthew 28:17). Doubt was in the minds of most of the disciples.
Even those who believed did not believe because they understood the Scriptures or Jesus' teachings, but because they saw evidence. John records that he saw the linen wrappings lying in the tomb without Jesus' body and then believed (John 20:8). When Jesus appeared to the ten disciples, it was Jesus who showed them his hands and side (v.20). This proves that other disciples did not simply believe the words of others who had seen the risen Christ, but saw him and his wounds and then believed, or at least tried to believe.
Turning to Thomas, we see that he simply wanted to have the same experience as the others. But Jesus appeared to him after a week. So he had to wrestle with his doubts and thoughts all week. Although he had doubts about the experience of others, he did not leave their side. So did the others, although they all had doubts at different levels, they stayed together until the day of Pentecost when they finally had clarity. In the case of Thomas, the answers came after a week.
One lesson we can learn from this episode is that we are allowed to have doubts about our faith, but the community of disciples, or the church, is the best place to work out our doubts. The answers may not be immediate, but while we wait for a new revelation, a new evidence, we should hold on to the community that will ultimately sustain us in our time of doubt.
The implication of this idea is simple and can be seen in two ways. First, the church should be a place where believers can express their genuine doubts without hesitation and receive support in working through them. It may take time to work it out, but the fellowship will be a key element of support as one waits and seeks answers. Secondly, Christians should not see doubt as antithetical to faith, but as a way of invigorating and deepening faith. But when doubt arises, the best way to deal with it is not to withdraw from the community but to remain in it.
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